A jug of wine,Be Ye Not Lost Among Precepts of Order...
A leg of lamb
GREATER POOP: Are you really serious or what?
MAL-2: Sometimes I take humor seriously. Sometimes I take seriousness humorously. Either way it is irrelevant.
GP: Maybe you are just crazy.
M2: Indeed! But do not reject these teaching as false because I am crazy. The reason that I am crazy is because they are true.
GP: Is Eris true?
M2: Everything is true.
GP: Even false things?
M2: Even false things are true.
GP: How can that be?
M2: I don't know man, I didn't do it.
GP: Why do you deal with so many negatives?
M2: To dissolve them.
GP: Will you develop that point?
GP: Is there an essential meaning behind POEE?
M2: There is a Zen Story about a student who asked a Master to explain the meaning of Buddhism. The Master's reply was "Three pounds of flax."
GP: Is that the answer to my question?
M2: No, of course not. That is just illustrative. The answer to your question is FIVE TONS OF FLAX!
Principia Discordia or How I Found Goddess & What I Did To Her When I found Her being a Beginning Introduction to The Erisian Mysterees Which is Most Interesting -><- as Divinely Revealed to My High Reverence MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, KSC Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold and HIGH PRIEST of THE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC (POEE) HAIL ERIS! -><- KALLISTI -><- ALL HAIL DISCORDIA! Dedicated to The Prettiest One The Upstart of one hand clapping
are a tribe
of philosophers, theologians,
and similar maniacs
who are intrigued
GODDESS OF CONFUSION
KNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH!I - There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm.
II - A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System.
III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).
IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.
V - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing what he reads.
IT IS SO WRITTEN! SO BE IT. HAIL DISCORDIA! PROSECUTORS WILL BE TRANSGRESSICUTED.
Test Question from Topanga Cabal The Twelve Famous Buddha Minds School: If they are our brothers, how come we can't eat them?
A serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th Century America confusing. He went to many people seeking a way of resolving within himself the discords that troubled him, but he remained troubled. One night in a coffee house, a self-ordained Zen Master said to him, "go to the dilapidated mansion you will find at this address which I have written down for you. Do not speak to those who live there; you must remain silent until the moon rises tomorrow night. Go to the large room on the right of the main hallway, sit in the lotus position on top of the rubble in the northeast corner, face the corner, and meditate." He did just as the Zen Master instructed. His meditation was frequently interrupted by worries. He worried whether or not the rest of the plumbing fixtures would fall from the second floor bathroom to join the pipes and other trash he was sitting on. He worried how would he know when the moon rose on the next night. He worried about what the people who walked through the room said about him. His worrying and meditation were disturbed when, as if in a test of his faith, ordure fell from the second floor onto him. At that time two people walked into the room. The first asked the second who the man was sitting there was. The second replied "Some say he is a holy man. Others say he is a shithead." Hearing this, the man was enlightened.
This is to inform you that your current position as deity is herewith terminated due to gross incompetence STOP Your check will be mailed STOP Please do not use me for a reference
Malaclypse the Younger/Omnibenevolent Polyfather
POEE High Priest
HBT; The Book of Predictions, Chap. 19
Two young Californians, known later as Omar Ravenhurst and Malaclypse the Younger, were indulging in their habit of sipping coffee at an allnight bowling alley and generally solving the world's problems. This particular evening the main subject of discussion was discord and they were complaining to each other of the personal confusion they felt in their respective lives. "Solve the problem of discord," said one, "and all other problems will vanish." "Indeed," said the other, "chaos and strife are the roots of all confusion."
The two were dazed and neither moved nor spoke for several minutes. They looked around and saw that the bowlers were frozen like statues in a variety of comic positions, and that a bowling ball was steadfastly anchored to the floor only inches from the pins that it had been sent to scatter. The two looked at each other, totally unable to account for the phenomenon. The condition was one of suspension, and one noticed that the clock had stopped.
There walked into the room a chimpanzee, shaggy and grey about the muzzle, yet upright to his full five feet, and poised with natural majesty. He carried a scroll and walked to the young men.
"Gentlemen," he said, "why does Pickering's Moon go about in reverse orbit? Gentlemen, there are nipples on your chests; do you give milk? And what, pray tell, Gentlemen, is to be done about Heisenberg's Law?" He paused. "SOMEBODY HAD TO PUT ALL OF THIS CONFUSION HERE!"
And with that he revealed his scroll. It was a diagram, like a yin- yang with a pentagon on one side and an apple on the other. And then he exploded and the two lost consciousness.
They discussed their strange encounter and reconstructed from memory the chimpanzee's diagram. Over the next five days they searched libraries to find the significance of it, but were disappointed to uncover only references to Taoism, the Korean flag, and Technocracy. It was not until they traced the Greek writing on the apple that they discovered the ancient Goddess known to the Greeks as Eris and to the Romans as Discordia. This was on the fifth night, and when they slept that night each had a vivid dream of a splendid woman whose eyes were as soft as feather and as deep as eternity itself, and whose body was the spectacular dance of atoms and universes. Pyrotechnics of pure energy formed her flowing hair, and rainbows manifested and dissolved as she spoke in a warm and gentle voice:
I have come to tell you that you are free. Many ages ago, My consciousness left man, that he might develop himself. I return to find this development approaching completion, but hindered by fear and by misunderstanding.
You have built for yourselves psychic suits of armor, and clad in them, your vision is restricted, your movements are clumsy and painful, your skin is bruised, and your spirit is broiled in the sun.
I am chaos. I am the substance from which your artists and scientists build rhythms. I am the spirit with which your children and clowns laugh in happy anarchy. I am chaos. I am alive, and I tell you that you are free.
During the next months they studied philosophies and theologies, and learned that Eris or Discordia was primarily feared by the ancients as being disruptive. Indeed, the very concept of chaos was still considered equivalent to strife and treated as a negative. "No wonder things are all screwed up," they concluded, "they have got it all backwards." They found that the principle of disorder was every much as significant as the principle of order.
With this in mind, they studied the strange yin-yang. During a meditation one afternoon, a voice came to them:
It is called the Sacred Chao. I appoint you Keepers of It. Therein you will find anything you like. Speak of Me as Discord, to show contrast to the pentagon. Tell constricted mankind that there are no rules, unless they choose to invent rules. Keep close the words of Syadasti: 'TIS AN ILL WIND THAT BLOWS NO MINDS. And remember that there is no tyranny in the State of Confusion. For further information, consult your pineal gland.
"What is this?" mumbled one to the other, "A religion based on The Goddess of Confusion? It is utter madness!"
And with those words, each looked at the other in absolute awe. Omar began to giggle. Mal began to laugh. Omar began to jump up and down. Mal was hooting and hollering to beat all hell. And amid squeals of mirth and with tears on their cheeks, each appointed the other to be high priest of his own madness, and together they declared themselves to be a society of Discordia, for what ever that may turn out to be.
"There are trivial truths & there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true."-Neils Bohr
"Did you know that there is a million bucks hidden in the house next door?" "But there is no house next door." "No? Then let's go build one!"-MARX
Momomoto, Famous Japanese, can swallow his nose.
St. Trinian's SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL POLICE Sewing Circle
Mine brain has meditated on the spinning of The Chao;
It is hovering o'er the table where the Chiefs of Staff are now
Gathered in discussion of the dropping of The Bomb;
Her Apple Corps is strong!
Grand (and gory) Old Discordja!
Grand (and gory) Old Discordja!
Grand (and gory) Old Discordja!
Her Apple Corps is strong!
She was not invited to the party that they held on Limbo Peak;*
So She threw a Golden Apple, 'sted of turn'd t'other cheek!
O it cracked the Holy Punchbowl and it made the nectar leak;
Her Apple Corps is strong!
* "Limbo Peak" refers to Old Limbo Peak, commonly called by the Greeks "Ol' Limb' Peak."
If a quixotic socrates studied zen under Zorba...?
"The tide is turning... the enemy is suffering terrible losses"-Gen. Geo. A. Custer
No, we Erisians seldom pray, it is much too dangerous. Charles Fort has listed many factual incidences of ignorant people confronted with, say, a drought, and then praying fervently -- and then getting the entire village wiped out in a torrential flood.
"Of course I'm crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. I'm mad but not ill"(Werewolf Bridge, Robert Anton Wison)
THE PURPLE SAGE
HBT; The Book of Predictions, Chap. 19
Heaven is down. Hell is up. This is proven by the fact that the planets and stars are orderly in their movements, IGNOTUM PER IGNOTIUS while down on earth The meaning of this is unknown we come close to the primal chaos. There are four other proofs, but I forget them. -Josh the Dill King Kong Kabal IT IS MY FIRM BELIEF THAT IT IS A MISTAKE TO HOLD FIRM BELIEFS.
The Classical Greeks were not influenced by the Classical Greeks. DO NOT CIRCULATE!
Her geneology is from the Greeks and is utterly confused. Either She was the twin of Ares and the daughter of Zeus and Hera; or She was the daughter of Nyx, goddess of night (who was either the daughter or wife of Chaos, or both), and Nyx's brother, Erebus, and whose brothers and sisters include Death, Doom, Mockery, and Friendship. And that She begat Forgetfullness, Quarrels, Lies, and a bunch of gods and goddesses like that.
One day Mal-2 consulted his Pineal Gland* and asked Eris if She really created all of those terrible things. She told him that She had always liked the Old Greeks, but that they cannot be trusted with historic matters. "They were," She added, "victims of indigestion, you know."
Suffice it to say that Eris is not hateful or malicious. But She is mischievous, and does get a little bitchy at times.
*THE PINEAL GLAND is where each and every one of us can talk to Eris. If you have trouble activating your Pineal, then try the appendix which does almost as well. Reference: DOGMA I, METAPHYSICS #3, "The Indoctrine of the Pineal Gland"
DIRUIT AEDIFICAT MUTAT QUADRATA ROTUNDUS-Horace
POEE subscribes to the Law of Fives of Omar's sect. And POEE also recognizes the holy 23 (2+3=5) that is incorporated by Episkopos Dr. Mordecai Malignatus, KNS, into his Discordian sect, The Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria.
The Law of Fives states simply that: ALL THINGS HAPPEN IN FIVES, OR ARE DIVISIBLE BY OR ARE MULTIPLES OF FIVE, OR ARE SOMEHOW DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY APPROPRIATE TO 5.
The Law of Fives is never wrong.
In the Erisian Archives is an old memo from Omar to Mal-2: "I find the Law of Fives to be more and more manifest the harder I look."
Please do not use this document as toilet tissue The Nagas of Upper Burma say that the sun shines by day because, being a woman, it is afraid to venture out at night.
"You will find that the State is the kind of ORGANIZATION which, though it does big things badly, does small things badly too."- John Kenneth Galbraith
This made Eris angry, and so She fashioned an apple of pure gold** and inscribed upon it KALLISTI ("To The Prettiest One") and on the day of the fete She rolled it into the banquet hall and then left to be alone and joyously partake of a hot dog.
Now, three of the invited goddesses,*** Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite, each immediately claimed it to belong to herself because of the inscription. And they started fighting, and they started throwing punch all over the place and everything.
Finally Zeus calmed things down and declared that an arbitrator must be selected, which was a reasonable suggestion, and all agreed. He sent them to a shepherd of Troy, whose name was Paris because his mother had had a lot of gaul and had married a Frenchman; but each of the sneaky goddesses tried to outwit the others by going early and offering a bribe to Paris.
Athena offered him Heroic War Victories, Hera offered him Great Wealth, and Aphrodite offered him the Most Beautiful Woman on Earth. Being a healthy young Trojan lad, Paris promptly accepted Aphrodite's bribe and she got the apple and he got screwed.
As she had promised, she maneuvered earthly happenings so that Paris could have Helen (the Helen) then living with her husband Menelaus, King of Sparta. Anyway, everyone knows that the Trojan War followed when Sparta demanded their Queen back and that the Trojan War is said to be The First War among men.
And so we suffer because of the Original Snub. And so a Discordian is to partake of No Hot Dog Buns.
Do you believe that?
** There is historic disagreement concerning whether this apple was of metallic gold or acapulco.
*** Actually there were five goddesses, but the Greeks did not know the Law of Fives.
+-----------+ | Remember: | | KING | | KONG | | Died for | | your Sins | +-----------+ Ho Chi Zen is King Cong5. An Age of Confusion, or an Ancient Age, is one in which History As We Know It begins to unfold, in which Whatever Is Coming emerges in Corporal Form, more or less, and such times are Ages of Balanced Unbalance, or Unbalanced Balance.
6. An Age of Bureaucracy is an Imperial Age in which Things Mature, in which Confusion becomes entrenched and during which Balanced Balance, or Stagnation, is attained.
7. An Age of Disorder or an Aftermath is an Apocalyptic Period of Transition back to Chaos through the Screen of Oblivion into which the Age passeth, finally. These are Ages of Unbalanced Unbalance.
HBT; The Book of Uterus, Chap. 3
Do You Remember? 1. Polite children will always remember that a church is the of .
Onwards Christian Soldiers,
Onwards Buddhist Priests.
Onward, Fruits of Islam,
Fight till you're deceased.
Fight your little battles.
Join in thickest fray;
For the Greater Glory,
Yah, yah, yah,
Yah, yah, yah, yah.
Mr. Momomoto, famous Japanese who can swallow his nose, has been exposed. It was recently revealed that it was Mr. Momomoto's brother who has been doing all this nose swallowing.
Heute Die Welt Morgens das Sonnensystem! Abbey of the Barbarous Relic
-><- OFFICIAL - POEE Head Temple, San Francisco HOUSE OF THE RISING PODGE Bureau of The POEE Epistolary
The esoteric name for this symbol is THE FIVE FINGERED HAND OF ERIS, commonly shortened to THE HAND.
\ / -----><----- / \NOTE: In the lore of western magic, the \/ is taken to symbolize horns, especially the horns of Satan or of diabolical beasties. The Five Fingered Hand of Eris, however, is not intended to be taken as satanic, for the "horns" are supported by another set, of inverted "horns". Or maybe it is walrus tusks. I don't know what it is, to tell the truth.
"Surrealism aims at the total transformation of the mind and all that resembles it"-Breton
-><- POEE -><-POEE (pronounced "POEE") is an acronym for The PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC. The first part can be taken to mean "equivalent deity, reversity beyond-mystique." We are not really esoteric, it's just that nobody pays much attention to us.
MY HIGH REVERENCE MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, AB, DD, KSC, is the High Priest of POEE, and POEE is grounded in his episkopotic revelations of The Goddess. He is called [The Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold].
The POEE HEAD TEMPLE is the Joshua Norton Cabal of The Discordian Society, which is located in Mal-2's pineal gland and can be found by temporally and spacially locating the rest of Mal-2.
POEE has no treasury, no by-laws, no articles, no guides save Mal-2's pineal gland, and has only one scruple--which Mal-2 keeps on his key chain.
POEE has not registered, incorporated, or otherwise chartered with the State, and so the State does not recognize POEE or POEE Ordinations, which is only fair, because POEE does not recognize the State.
POEE has 5 DEGREES:
There is the neophyte, or LEGIONNAIRE DISCIPLE.
The LEGIONNAIRE DEACON, who is catching on.
An Ordained POEE PRIEST/PRIESTESS or a CHAPLIN.
The HIGH PRIEST, the Polyfather.
And POEE =POPE=. POEE LEGIONNAIRE DISCIPLES are authorized to initiate others as Discordian Society Legionnaires. PRIESTS appoint their own DEACONS. The POLYFATHER ordains priests. I don't know about the =POPES=.
"This book is a mirror. When a monkey looks in, no apostle looks out."-Lichtenberg
Application For Membership In the Erisian movement of the DISCORDIAN SOCIETY 1. Today's date Yesterday's Date 2. Purpose of this application: --membership in : a. Legion of Dynamic Discord b. POEE c. Bavarian Illuminati d. All of the Above e. None of the Above f. Other-- BE SPECIFIC! 3. Name_________________________ Holy Name________________ Address_____________________________________________________________ (If temporary, also give an address from which mail can be forwarded) 4. Description: Born: Yes No Eyes:2 other Height: ..... fl. oz. Last time you had a haircut: Reason: Race: horse human I.Q.: 150-200 200-250 250-300 over 300 5. History: Education - highest grade completed 1 2 3 4 5 6 over 6th Professional: On another ream of paper list every job since 1937 from which you have been fired. Medical: On a separate sheet labeled "confidential" list all major psychic psychotic episodes experienced within the last 24 hours. 6. Sneaky Questions to establish personality traits I would rather a. live in an outhouse b. play in a rock group c. eat caterpillars. I wear obscene tattoos because .......... I have ceased raping little children yes no -- reason .......... 7. Self Portrait Rev. Mungo For Office Use Only -- acc. rej. burned +-------------------+ | LICK HERE!!! | | | | * | | | | (You may be one | | of the lucky 25) | +-------------------+ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -><-
The High Priest makes no demands on his Priests, though he does rather expect good will of them. The Office of The Polyfather is point, not to teach. Once in a while, he even listens.
Should you find that your own revelations of The Goddess become substantially different that the revelations of Mal-2, then perhaps the Goddess has plans for you as an Episkopos, and you might consider creating your own sect from scratch, unhindered. Episkoposes are not competing with each other, and they are all POEE priests anyway (as soon as I locate them). The point is that Episkoposes are developing separate paths to the Erisian mountain top. See the section "Discordian Society"
An ORDAINED POEE PRIEST or PRIESTESS is defined as "one who holds an Ordination Certificate from the Office of the Polyfather."
Seek into the Chao if thou wouldst be wise And find ye delight in Her Great Surprise! Look into the Chao if thou wantest to know What's in a Chao and why it ain't so! (HBT; The Book of Advise, 1:1)
The Hidden stone ripens fast, then laid bare like a turnip can easily be cut out at last but even then the danger isn't past. That man lives best who's fain to live half mad, half sane. -Flemish Poet Jan Van Stijevoort, 1524.
the presiding POEE Official (if any) responds:
find the goddess Eris To Diverse Gods Within your Pineal Gland Do Mortals bow; POEE Holy Cow, and Wholly Chao -Rev. Dr. Grindlebone Monroe Cabal"common sense is what tells you that the world is flat."
Legion of Dynamic Discord HARK RECOGNIZE that the -- DISCORDIAN SOCIETY -- doth hereby certify As a Legionnaire Glory to We Children of ERIS Presented under the auspices of our Lady of Discord, ERIS by the House of the Apostles of ERIS. -><-
HOW TO BECOME A POEE CHAPLIN
The California State Bureau of Furniture and Bedding 1021 'D' Street, Sacramento CA 94814
~~ OLD POEE SLOGAN ~~ When in Doubt, Fuck it. When not in Doubt... get in Doubt!
1) The Priests and four Brothers are arranged in a pentagon with the Initiate in the center facing the Priests. If possible, the Brothers on the immediate right and left of the Priest should be Deacons. The Initiate must be totally naked, to demonstrate that he is truly a human being and not something else in disguise like a cabbage or something.
2) All persons in the audience and the pentagon, excepting the Priest, assume a squatting position and return to a standing position. This is repeated four more times. This dance is symbolic of the humility of we Erisians.
3) The Priest begins: I, (complete Holy Name, with Mystical Titles, and degrees, designations, offices, etc.), Ordained Priest of the Paratheo-anametamystikhood of Eris Esoteric, with the Authority invested at me by the High Priest of It, Office of the Polyfather, The House of the Rising Podge, POEE Head Temple; Do herewith Require of Ye:
5) The Ceremony generally degenerates.
Mord says that Omar says that we are all unicorns anyway.
DO NOT PULL ON YELLOW TIP3. And though Omar did bid of the Collector of Garbage, in words that were both sweet and bitter, to surrender back the cigar box containing the cards designated by the Angel as The Honest Book of Truth, the Collector was to him as one who might be smitten deaf, saying only: 'Gainst the rules, y'know.
Answers: 1. Harry Houdini 2. Swing Music 3. Pretzels 4. 8 months 5. Testy Culbert 6. It protrudes. 7. No vocal cords
FLYING BABY SHIT!!!!!
(Brothers of the Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria sect may wish to substitute the German:
WIECZNY KWIAT WTADZA!!!!! which is Ewige Blumenkraft in Polish.)
THE RECENT EXPOSE THAT MR. MOMOMOTO, FAMOUS JAPANESE WHO CAN SWALLOW HIS NOSE, CANNOT SWALLOW HIS NOSE BUT HIS BROTHER CAN, HAS BEEN EXPOSED! IT IS MR. MOMOMOTO WHO CAN SWALLOW HIS NOSE. HE SWALLOWED HIS BROTHER IN THE SUMMER OF '44.
Corrections to last week's copy: Johnny Sample is offensive cornerback for the New York Jets, not fullback as stated. Bobby Tolan's name is not Randy, but mud. All power to the people, and ban the fucking bomb.
"This statement is false" (courtesy of POEE)
I sometimes think of it as a disorganization of Eris Freaks. It has been called a guerrilla mind theatre. Episkopos Randomfactor, Director of Purges of Our People's Underworld Movement sect in Larchmont, prefers "The World's Greatest Association of What-ever-it-is-that-we-are." Lady Mal thinks of it as a RENAISSANCE THINK TANK. Fang the Unwashed, WKC, won't say. You can think of it any way you like.
AN EPISKOPOS OF THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY is one who prefers total autonomy, and creates his own Discordian sect as The Goddess directs him. He speaks for himself and for those that say that they like what he says.
THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD: A Discordian Society Legionnaire is one who prefers not to create his own sect.
If you want in on the Discordian Society then declare yourself what you wish do what you like and tell us about it or if you prefer don't.
There are no rules anywhere. Some Episkoposes The Goddess Prevails. have a one-man cabal. Some work together. Some never do explain. When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide where I stop and I turn and I go for a ride, then I get to the bottom and I see you again! Helter Skelter! -John Lennon"Everybody I know who is right always agrees with ME" -Rev Lady Mal
It says little, does less, means nothing.* Not to be confused with The Apple Corps Ltd. of those four singers. We thought of it first.
A) APOSTLE HOLYDAYS B) SEASON HOLYDAYS 1) Mungday 1) Chaoflux 2) Mojoday 2) Discoflux 3) Syaday 3) Confuflux 4) Zaraday 4) Bureflux 5) Maladay 5) Afflux Each occurs on the 5th Each occurs on the 50th day of the Season day of each Season C) ST. TIB'S DAY - occurs once every 4 years (1+4=5) and is inserted between the 59th and 60th days of the Season of Chaos SM BT PD PP SO SM BT PD PP SO -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Jan 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 Chs Jul 5 6 7 8 9 40 41 42 43 44 Cfn 6 7 8 9 10 6 7 8 9 10 10 11 12 13 14 45 46 47 48 49 11 12 13 14 15 11 12 13 14 15 15 16 17 18 19 50 51 52 53 54 16 17 18 19 20 16 17 18 19 20 20 21 22 23 24 55 56 57 58 59 21 22 23 24 25 21 22 23 24 25 25 26 27 28 29 60 61 62 63 64 26 27 28 29 30 26 27 28 29 30 30 31 1 2 3 65 66 67 68 69 31 1 2 3 4 31 32 33 34 35 Aug 4 5 6 7 8 70 71 72 73 1 Bcy Feb 5 6 7 8 9 36 37 38 39 40 9 10 11 12 13 2 3 4 5 6 10 11 12 13 14 41 42 43 44 45 14 15 16 17 18 7 8 9 10 11 15 16 17 18 19 46 47 48 49 50 19 20 21 22 23 12 13 14 15 16 20 21 22 23 24 51 52 53 54 55 24 25 26 27 28 17 18 19 20 21 25 26 27 28* 1 56 57 58 59 60 29 30 31 1 2 22 23 24 25 26 Mar 2 3 4 5 6 61 62 63 64 65 Sep 3 4 5 6 7 27 28 29 30 31 7 8 9 10 11 66 67 68 69 70 8 9 10 11 12 32 33 34 35 36 12 13 14 15 16 71 72 73 1 2 Dsc 13 14 15 16 17 37 38 39 40 41 17 18 19 20 21 3 4 5 6 7 18 19 20 21 22 42 43 44 45 46 22 23 24 25 26 8 9 10 11 12 23 24 25 26 27 47 48 49 50 51 27 28 29 30 31 13 14 15 16 17 28 29 30 1 2 52 53 54 55 56 Apr 1 2 3 4 5 18 19 20 21 22 Oct 3 4 5 6 7 57 58 59 60 61 6 7 8 9 10 23 24 25 26 27 8 9 10 11 12 62 63 64 65 66 11 12 13 14 15 28 29 30 31 32 13 14 15 16 17 67 68 69 70 71 16 17 18 19 20 33 34 35 36 37 18 19 20 21 22 72 73 1 2 3 Afm 21 22 23 24 25 38 39 40 41 42 23 24 25 26 27 4 5 6 7 8 26 27 28 29 30 43 44 45 46 47 28 29 30 31 1 9 10 11 12 13 May 1 2 3 4 5 48 49 50 51 52 Nov 2 3 4 5 6 14 15 16 17 18 6 7 8 9 10 53 54 55 56 57 7 8 9 10 11 19 20 21 22 23 11 12 13 14 15 58 59 60 61 62 12 13 14 15 16 24 25 26 27 28 16 17 18 19 20 63 64 65 66 67 17 18 19 20 21 29 30 31 32 33 21 22 23 24 25 68 69 70 71 72 22 23 24 25 26 34 35 36 37 38 26 27 28 29 30 73 1 2 3 4 Cfn 27 28 29 30 1 39 40 41 42 43 31 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Dec 2 3 4 5 6 44 45 46 47 48 Jun 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 7 8 9 10 11 49 50 51 52 53 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 12 13 14 15 16 54 55 56 57 58 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 17 18 19 20 21 59 60 61 62 63 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 22 23 24 25 26 64 65 66 67 68 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 27 28 29 30 31 69 70 71 72 73 30 1 2 3 4 35 36 37 38 39 [1991 = 3157] [Next St. Tibs Day in 3158]
Discordians have a tradition of assuming HOLY NAMES. This is not unique to Erisianism, of course. I suppose that Pope Paul is the son of Mr. and Mrs. VI?And also TITLES OF MYSTICAL IMPORT.
Will whoever stole Brother Reverend Magoun's pornography please return it.
THE BEARER OF THIS CARD IS A GENUINE AND AUTHORIZED ~ POPE ~ So please Treat Him Right GOOD FOREVER Genuine and authorized by The House of Apostles of ERIS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Every man, woman and child on this Earth is a genuine and authorized Pope Reproduce and distribute these cards freely- POEE Head Temple, San FranciscoA =POPE= is someone who is not under the authority of the authorities.
When Hypoc was through meditating with St. Gulik, he went there into the kitchen where he busied himself with preparing the feast and in his endeavor, he found that there was some old tea in a pan left standing from the night before, when he had in his weakness forgot about its making and had let it sit steeping for 24 hours. It was dark and murky and it was Hypoc's intention to use this old tea by diluting it with water. And again in his weakness, chose without further consideration and plunged into the physical labor of the preparations. It was then when deeply immersed in the pleasure of that trip, he had a sudden loud clear voice in his head saying "it is bitter tea that involves you so." Hypoc heard the voice, but the struggle inside intensified, and the pattern, previously established with the physical laboring and the muscle messages coordinated and unified or perhaps coded, continued to exert their influence and Hypoc succummed to the pressure and he denied the voice.
And again he plunged into the physical orgy and completed the task, and Lo as the voice had predicted, the tea was bitter.
"The Five Laws have root in awareness." --Che Fung (Ezra Pound, Canto 85) The Hell Law says that Hell is reserved exclusively for them that believe in it. Further, the lowest Rung in Hell is reserved for them that believe in it on the supposition that they'll go there if they don't. HBT; The Gospel According to Fred, 3:1
"O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of Chaos! Daughter of Discord! Concubine of Confusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a heavy burden from my heart!"
WHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON'T SOUND WELL.
"I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe."
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?
"But nobody Wants it! Everybody hates it."
OH. WELL, THEN STOP.
At which moment She turned herself into an aspirin commercial and left The Polyfather stranded alone with his species.
SINISTER DEXTER HAS A BROKEN SPIROMETER.
Patron of the Season of Confusion. Holyday: May 31. NOTE: Sri Syadasti should not be confused with Blessed St. Gulik the Stoned, who is not the same person but is the same Apostle.
The teachings of the Sri Syadasti School of Spiritual School of Spiritual Wisdom are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense. Patamunzo Lingananda School of Higher Spiritual Wisdom, Skokie.
It is not presently understood why men were so gullible at that particular time, for absolutely no one thought to observe all the disorder around them and conclude just the opposite. But anyway, Greyface and his followers took the game of playing at life more seriously than they took life itself and were known even to destroy other living beings whose ways of life differed from their own.
The unfortunate result of this is that mankind has since been suffering from a psychological and spiritual imbalance. Imbalance causes frustration, and frustration causes fear. And fear makes for a bad trip. Man has been on a bad trip for a long time now.
It is called THE CURSE OF GREYFACE.
Bullshit makes the flowers grow & that's beautiful.
Climb into the Chao with a friend or two And follow the Way it carries you, Adrift like a Lunatic Lifeboat Crew Over the Waves in whatever you do. (HBT; The Book of Advise, 1:3) [graphic deleted... if you wanna see it, READ THE BOOK]
Meanwhile, at the Chinese laundromat...
** The LAW OF NEGATIVE REVERSAL states that if something does not happen then the exact opposite will happen, only in exactly the opposite manner from that in which it did not happen.
NOTE: It is from this text from The Book of Uterus, that POEE has based its Erisian Calendar with the year divided into 5 seasons of 73 days each. Each of the Five Apostles of Eris has patronage over one Season. A chart of the Seasons, Patrons, Days of the Week, Holydays, and a perpetual Gregorian converter is included in this edition of Principia.
Dull but Sincere Filler
"And, behold, thusly was the Law formulated: Imposition of Order = escalation of Disorder!" [H.B.T. ; The Gospel According to Fred, 1:6]
Don't let THEM immanentize the Eschaton.
HIP-2-3-4, HIP-2-3-4 Go To Your Left-Right....
THE FOLLOWING IS QUOTED FROM BERGAN EVANS ON NORBERT WEINER, NUCLEAR PHYSICIST The second concept Wiener has to establish is that of entropy. Probability is a mathematical concept, coming from statistics. Entropy comes from physics. It is the assertion-- established logically and experimentally-- that the universe, by its nature, is "running down", moving toward a state of inert uniformity devoid of form, matter, hierarchy or differentiation.
That is, in any given situation, less organization, more chaos, is overwhelmingly more probable than tighter organization or more order.
The tendency for entropy to increase in isolated systems is expressed in the second law of thermodynamics-- perhaps the most pessimistic and amoral formulation in all human thought.
It applies however, to a closed system, to something that is an isolated whole, not just a part. Within such systems there may be parts, which draw their energy from the whole, that are moving at least temporarily, in the opposite direction; in them order is increasing and chaos is diminishing.
The whirlpools that swirl in a direction opposed to the main current are called "enclaves". And one of them is life, especially human life, which in a universe moving inexorably towards chaos moves towards increased order.
IF THE TELEPHONE RINGS TODAY..... WATER IT! -Rev. Thomas, Gnostic N.Y.C. Cabal
"I should have been a plumber." --Albert Einstein
"Grasshopper always wrong in argument with chicken" -Book of Chan compiled by O.P.U. sect
One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She was contentedly grazing.
"Tell me, you dumb beast." demanded the Priest in his commanding voice, "why don't you do something worthwhile. What is your Purpose in Life, anyway?"
Munching the tasty grass, The Sacred Chao replied "MU".*
Upon hearing this, absolutely nobody was enlightened. Primarily because nobody could understand Chinese.
* "MU" is the Chinese ideogram for NO-THING
TAO FA TSU-DAN FIND PEACE WITH A CONTENTED CHAO
The Sacred Chao symbolizes absolutely everything anyone need ever know about absolutely anything, and more! It even symbolizes everything not worth knowing, depicted by the empty space surrounding the Hodge-Podge.
The Aneristic Principle is that of APPARENT ORDER; the Eristic Principle is that of APPARENT DISORDER. Both order and disorder are man made concepts and are artificial divisions of PURE CHAOS, which is a level deeper that is the level of distinction making.
With our concept making apparatus called "mind" we look at reality through the ideas-about-reality which our cultures give us. The ideas-about- reality are mistakenly labeled "reality" and unenlightened people are forever perplexed by the fact that other people, especially other cultures, see "reality" differently. It is only the ideas-about-reality which differ. Real (capital-T True) reality is a level deeper that is the level of concept.
We look at the world through windows on which have been drawn grids (concepts). Different philosophies use different grids. A culture is a group of people with rather similar grids. Through a window we view chaos, and relate it to the points on our grid, and thereby understand it. The ORDER is in the GRID. That is the Aneristic Principle.
Western philosophy is traditionally concerned with contrasting one grid with another grid, and amending grids in hopes of finding a perfect one that will account for all reality and will, hence, (say unenlightened westerners) be True. This is illusory; it is what we Erisians call the ANERISTIC ILLUSION. Some grids can be more useful than others, some more beautiful than others, some more pleasant than others, etc., but none can be more True than any other.
DISORDER is simply unrelated information viewed through some particular grid. But, like "relation", no-relation is a concept. Male, like female, is an idea about sex. To say that male-ness is "absence of female-ness", or vice versa, is a matter of definition and metaphysically arbitrary. The artificial concept of no-relation is the ERISTIC PRINCIPLE.
The belief that "order is true" and disorder is false or somehow wrong, is the Aneristic Illusion. To say the same of disorder, is the ERISTIC ILLUSION.
The point is that (little-t) truth is a matter of definition relative to the grid one is using at the moment, and that (capital-T) Truth, metaphysical reality, is irrelevant to grids entirely. Pick a grid, and through it some chaos appears ordered and some appears disordered. Pick another grid, and the same chaos will appear differently ordered and disordered.
Reality is the original Rorschach.
Verily! So much for all that.
The words of the Foolish and those of the Wise Are not far apart in Discordian Eyes. (HBT; The Book of Advise, 2:1)The PODGE of the Sacred Chao is symbolized as The Golden Apple of Discordia, which represents the Eristic Principle of Disorder. The writing on it, "KALLISTI" is Greek for "TO THE PRETTIEST ONE" and refers to an old myth about The Goddess. But the Greeks had only a limited understanding of Disorder, and thought it to be a negative principle.
The Pentagon represents the Aneristic Principle of Order and symbolizes the HODGE. The Pentagon has several references; for one, it can be taken to represent geometry, one of the earliest studies of formal order to reach elaborate development;* for another, it specifically accords with THE LAW OF FIVES.
THE TRUTH IS FIVE BUT MEN HAVE ONLY ONE NAME FOR IT. -Patamunzo LinganandaIt is also the shape of the United States Military Headquarters, the Pentagon Building, a most pregnant manifestation of straightjacket order resting on a firm foundation of chaos and constantly erupting into dazzling disorder; and this building is one of our more cherished Erisian Shrines. Also it so happens that in times of medieval magic, the pentagon was the generic symbol for werewolves, but this reference is not particularly intended and it should be noted that the Erisian Movement does not discriminate against werewolves-- our membership roster is open to persons of all races, national origins and hobbies.
* The Greek geometrician PYTHAGORAS, however, was not a typical aneristic personality. He was what we call an EXPLODED ANERISTIC and an AVATAR. We call him Archangle Pythagoras.
5. Hung Mung slapped his buttocks, hopped about, and shook his head, saying "I do not know! I do not know!" HBT; The Book of Gooks, Chap. 1
In honor of this Incredible Event, this Holy Place is revered as a Shrine by all Erisians. Once every five years, the Golden Apple Corps plans a Pilgrimage to Brunswick Shrine as an act of Devotion, and therein to partake of No Hot Dog Buns, and ruminate a bit about It All.
It is written that when The Corps returns to The Shrine for the fifth time five times over, than shall the world come to an end:
And Five Days Prior to This Occasion The Apostle The Elder Malaclypse Shall Walk the Streets of Whittier Bearing a Sign for All Literates to Read thereof: "DOOM", as a Warning of Forthcoming Doom to All Men Impending. And He Shall Signal This Event by Seeking the Poor and Distributing to Them Precious MAO BUTTONS and Whittier Shall be Known as The Region of Thud for These Five Days.As a public service to all mankind and civilization in general, and to us in particular, the Golden Apple Corps has concluded that planning such a Pilgrimage is sufficient and that it is prudent to never get around to actually going.
* Or maybe it was 1958, I forget.
STARBUCK'S PEBBLES Which Is Real? * * * * *Do these 5 pebbles REALLY form a pentagon?
[note: they were pebbles, originally..try doing ASCII pebbles -DtC] Those biased by the Aneristic Illusion would say yes. Those biased by the Eristic Illusion would say no. Criss-cross them and it is a star.
An Illuminated Mind can see all of these, yet he does not insist that any one is really true, or that none at all is true. Stars, and pentagons, and disorder are all his creations and he may do with them as he wishes. Indeed, even so the concept of number 5.
The real reality is there, but everything you KNOW about "it" is in your mind and yours to do with as you like. Conceptualization is art, and YOU ARE THE ARTIST.
Convictions cause convicts.
Can you chart the COURSE to Captain Valentine's SWEETHEART? Hemlock? I never touch the stuff! When I was 8 or 9 years old, I acquired a split beaver magazine. You can imagine my disappointment when,upon examination of the photos with a microscope, I found that all I could see was dots. 7. Never write in pencil unless you are on a train or sick in bed.
MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, KSC Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold HIGH PRIEST THE ERISIAN MOVEMENT HOUSE OF APOSTLES OF ERIS (X) Official Business ( )Surreptitious Business page 1 of 1 pages Official Discordian Document Number (if applicable): n/a ( ) the Golden Apple Corps (X)House of Disciples of Discordia The Bureaucracy, Bureau of: DOGMAS ( ) Council of Episkoposes: Office of High Priesthood, Sect of the POEE ( ) Drawer o ______________________________________________________________________________ Today's DATE: day of the Carrot yesterday's DATE: Yes -><- Originating Cabal: Joshua Norton Cabal - San Francisco TO: REV. RAMPANT PANCREAS, tRRoCR(a)pttM; Colorado EncrustationBrother Ram,
Your acute observation that ERIS spelled backwards is SIRE, and your inference to the effect that there is sexual symbolism here, have brought me to some observations of my own.
ERIS spelled fore-part-aft-wards is RISE. And spelled inside out is REIS, which is a unit of money, albeit Portugese-Brazilian and no longer in use. >From this it may be concluded that Eris has usurped Eros (god of erotic love) in the eyes of those who read backwards; which obviously made Eros sorE. Then She apparently embezzeled the Olympian Treasury and went to Brazil; whereupon She opened a chain of whorehouses (which certainly would get a rise from the male population). I figure it to be this in particular because MADAM reads the same forwards and backwards. And further, it is a term of great respect, similar to SIRE.
And so thank you for your insight, it may well be the clue to the mystery of just where Eris has been fucking around for 3125 years.
FIVE TONS OF FLAX! -><- Mal-2 Not for Circulation! KALLISTI HAIL ERIS ALL HAIL DISCORDIA safeguard this letter, it may be an IMPORTANT DOCUMENT Form No.: O.D.D. IIb/ii.1-37D.VVM:3134
Eris had been born pregnant, and after 55 years (Goddesses have an unusually long gestation period-- longer even than elephants), Her pregnancy bore the fruits of many things. These things were composed of the Five Basic Elements, SWEET, BOOM, PUNGENT, PRICKLE, and ORANGE. Aneris, however, had been created sterile. When she saw Eris enjoying Herself so greatly with all of the existent things She had borne, Aneris became jealous and finally one day she stole some existent things and changed them into non- existent things and claimed them as her own children. This deeply hurt Eris, who felt that Her sister was unjust (being so much larger anyway) to deny Her her small joy. And so She made herself swell again to bear more things. And She swore that no matter how many of her begotten that Aneris would steal, She would beget more. And, in return, Aneris swore that no matter how many existent things Eris brought forth, she would eventually find them and turn them into non-existent things for her own. (And to this day, things appear and disappear in this very manner.)
At first, the things brought forth by Eris were in a state of chaos and went in every which way, but by the by She began playing with them and ordered some of them just to see what would happen. Some pretty things arose from this play and for the next five zillion years She amused Herself by creating order. And so She grouped some things with others and some groups with others, and big groups with little groups, and all combinations until She had many grand schemes which delighted Her.
Engrossed in establishing order, She finally one day noticed disorder (previously not apparent because everything was chaos). There were many ways in which chaos was ordered and many ways in which it was not.
"Hah," She thought, "Here shall be a new game."
And She taught order and disorder to play with each other in contest games, and to take turns amusing each other. She named the side of disorder after Herself, "ERISTIC" because Being is anarchic. And then, in a mood of sympathy for Her lonely sister, She named the other side "ANERISTIC" which flattered Aneris and smoothed the friction a little that was between them.
Now all of this time, Void was somewhat disturbed. He felt unsatisfied for he had created only physical existence and physical non- existence, and had neglected the spiritual. As he contemplated this, a great Quiet was caused and he went into a state of Deep Sleep which lasted for 5 eras. At the end of this ordeal, he begat a brother to Eris and Aneris, that of SPIRITUALITY, who had no name at all.
When the sisters heard this, they both confronted Void and pleaded that he not forget them, his First Born. And so Void decreed thus:
That this brother, having no form, was to reside with Aneris in Non-Being and then to leave her and, so that he might play with order and disorder, reside with Eris in Being. But Eris became filled with sorrow when She heard this and then began to weep.
"Why are you despondent?" demanded Void, "Your new brother will have his share with you." "But Father, Aneris and I have been arguing, and she will take him from me when she discovers him, and cause him to return to Non- Being." "I see,"replied Void, "Then I decree the following:
"When your brother leaves the residence of Being, he shall not reside again in Non-Being, but shall return to Me, Void, from whence he came. You girls may bicker as you wish, but My son is your Brother and We are all of Myself."
And so it is that we, as men, do not exist until we do; and then it is that we play with our world of existent things, and order and disorder them, and so it shall be that non-existence shall take us back from existence and that nameless spirituality shall return to Void, like a tired child home from a very wild circus.
"Everything is true - Everything is permissib... 1 9.25.99